My personal Mt. Everest…the fear I have had the most difficulty managing is…needles.

So, in celebration of my 50th birthday (the 18th), I’m doing something that will seem like nothing to most people, but it is hands down the thing most requiring courage on my part. Ever. And this is saying something.

I am giving blood.

Up until now, I could never have imagined volunteering to take this step. My lifelong, clinical phobia of needles is one of the last bastions of fear in my life. It goes far beyond ‘not liking’ shots, all the way into completely irrational responses.

But now, I am putting into place the tools that any of us (yes, this means YOU) can use to overcome, manage or even come to peace with fear. Get the tools below.

1. Get in touch with what you really feel about the object of your fear

It took some work, but I was eventually able to identify a belief that submitting to medical procedures involving needles made me feel as though something was being forcibly taken from me, and that I was powerless to control my reactions. I discovered that the fear isn’t so much about the lifeless needle, which can’t actually hurt me, but the outcome. That understanding really helped me to shift my perspective to the thing I really CAN do something about.

You can face your fears, one step at a time

2. Understand that even irrational fears, those that you can’t ‘think’ your way through, can be managed

A big part of this tool is changing the ways in which you judge yourself for the fear. In other words, you don’t have to feel bad about feeling bad!

3. Look at what the fear costs you

Does it make sense to carry a burden that drains your energy and limits your ability to enjoy your life? What has your fear caused you to miss? Don’t regret it…but decide to make whatever change is required.

I used to joke that my needle phobia was a good thing because it ensured that I would never be a ‘junkie.’ While that may be true, it DID cost me by making every medical experience of my life more traumatic than it needed to be. And, more than anything, it cost me my pride.

4. Identify the story you tell yourself about your fear and change it

This tool is especially true for object-oriented fears, like bridges, spiders and, well…needles.

Once you understand what your story does for you, you can rewrite the script that has locked the belief in place.

I’m shifting my story from what has been taken from me to what I choose to give.  There is great power in that, don’t you think?

5. Get support

It is liberating to speak your fear out loud. The more honest about it you are with yourself and others, the less power it can have over you. The light of understanding and the warmth of acceptance can heal many, many things.

I am SO blessed, that when I told people about my plan to face my needle fear, dear friends stepped up in ways I could not have imagined. Marilyn Adams, of Capitol Hill Acupuncture, gave me a special treatment to balance my body. Jay Keegan, of Monkey’s Uncle, volunteered to go with me to the blood drive and shared his vast experience as a donor. People far and wide have sent me good wishes.

Being open has turned a stressful thing into a great gift.

6. Choose tools to give you courage

Music, affirmations, meditation, distraction, all of these can help you get through a difficult time.

Tomorrow, I’m taking a picture of my dog…for whom I would do anything…I’ll be wearing comfortable clothes that remind me of people who care about me…and I’m reminding myself that I can do ANYTHING for 20 minutes!

One of my clients’ favorite tools is a thought replacement phrase: “If you are not actually on FIRE, you are probably okay in any given moment.”  Believe me, I’ll be saying that to myself a lot tomorrow morning!

7. See it. Be it.

Ask yourself, what would it be like if this was totally okay? And then really use your imagination. Think deeply about it. What do you WANT your life without the fear to look like.

If you really can’t imagine being without the fear, look at the lives of others who live without it. How do they cope? Claim it. Repeat the image in you mind more often then you are willing to dwell on the fear, and soon, one will replace the other!