Find real success in 2010 WITHOUT resolutions!
(Here is the pdf article this post is based on, if you’d like a hard copy.)
It’s that time again. When folks make promises to themselves about what they are going to improve in the new year.
They generally do so with grim determination and self-criticism. Have you ever met anyone joyful about their resolutions? I can’t say that I have. (except for myself, of course!)
Why do you think the average resolution lasts for roughly 3.7 weeks?
Can you see the problem with these resolutions? Read on!
Is it because the average resolution-maker is a weak-willed, failure?
Here’s a hint — NO IT’S NOT! Like any life decision that is based on external expectations, resolutions usually go by the wayside because they are not supported by a strong foundation of understanding, or a coherent plan of action.
It’s all fine and good to vow that you will quit swearing, to make friends with the gym, or that you will “be nicer.”
What I want to know is…HOW?
There are very specific reasons why you have your current, limiting habits of thought and behavior. On some level, they work for you. Not in the ‘gee, I’d like more of this’ way, but in the ‘this is familiar and, frankly I don’t know how to do it differently’ way. Those reasons are subconscious and tend to stick much harder than good intentions.
Do you know why your habits work for you, or how to shift them to get the outcomes you desire? I’m going to have to guess that the answer is no, or you’d have done it already!
Forget about “I’ve tried and nothing has worked!” That just means whatever method you used was not right for you. And frankly, simply thinking about the problem is useless. Keep exploring different options!
First, let’s acknowledge that getting to this point in your life is a major accomplishment and, in many ways, it speaks to how strong and resourceful you are. It takes a great deal of energy to hold onto habits that hurt you!
Just think how drained you feel getting the same old result.
Second, resolve that you will develop a clear understanding of what you actually want. This is the greatest mystery for most people. Which is pretty sad considering, as you know, if you don’t have a map, it’s tough to get anywhere. If you keep doing what you’ve done, you will stay exactly where you are.
Third, do yourself a favor, make sure that your plan is positive, measurable and specific. Without these elements, the change you desire is unlikely to work. Discover ways to enjoy accomplishing your goals.
If you need help figuring out how to design an engaging and encouraging plan that really works, give me a call for a consultation. And lastly, promise me that you will spend more time appreciating what is great about yourself and your life…and that you will do what it takes to make it even better.
Start right now by leaving a comment with a commitment for just one, Positive, Measurable and Specific change you are excited to make in 2010. You just might find yourself in a future post!
Tags: Commitment, language, measureable, positive, promises, resolutions, Self-acceptance, specific