Well, it turns out that it doesn’t have to be one

OR the other. You really can have a satisfying relationship with your money.

Doesn’t it seem as if EVERYONE struggles with money?

I’ve spent the last 10 years trying to figure out why and, finally, there is an anwer!

If you have ever heard yourself say any of the negative Money Script phrases above, I hope you will join me for perhaps the most important, intensive workshop you will ever take.

This program is not about budgeting or investing…it IS about creating a money mindset that reduces stress, improves confidence and creates true and lasting wealth.

Money is essential to our day-to-day survival, but why is it THE most painfully charged issues in our lives. Whether you fear never having enough, or you struggle with managing what you have (or don’t have), now is the time to get the tools you need to build a great life with your money.

Space is limited to 10 seats.

Secure your spot today!

We’ll meet May 13, 6-9pm & May 14, 9am-4pm.

Near Eastern Market, Washington, DC

Email me or call 866.821.9386 to receive your registration form with  your pre-work exercises and directions.

Tuition includes 10 hours of instruction,learning materials and light snacks.

Singles – $425  10% discount for cash  ($383)

Couples – $725 10% discount for cash  ($653)

The 10% discount will apply paid registrations received before April 30.

If you need accommodation in the area, I can steer you to, or away from, the local options..

Couples who have taken this workshop will be eligible for an extension seminar focusing on communications, connectedness and conflict resolution.

Join us and find freedom from financial strife!

You can either forward this entire email, or download a pdf to print and share via your social networks.

Please!

As you have probably heard me say before, nothing gives me greater joy than seeing that AHA moment, and witnessing the relief and optimism that comes when a client breaks through a limitation that has plagued them for ages. YOU can foster that change in about 30 seconds!

If you have any questions about how to share or describe my work, please be in touch.

It’s really quite easy!

click here to get a pdf of this card, and thank you for passing it on!

Join us for an evening of mingling and singling over party, board and card games at Labyrinth’s Valentine’s Game Night.

Sunday, 13 February 2011

5:30-9:30pm

Tickets are just $10 and space is limited!

Purchase tickets before Wednesday, 9 February, at Labyrinth Games & Puzzles at 645 Pennsylvania Av SE, Washington, DC. (less than half a block west of the Eastern Market Metro-blue&orange line.) Get directions here. Street parking is available.

or, email Kathleen@labyrinthgameshop.com

or, call them at 202.544.1059 to snag your spot.

This is going to be a blast! Kathleen is providing awesome games and snacks, while I will be running some mixer games and will be available to talk about successfully navigating ‘the games people play in love!

Please forward news of this event to gamer guys and gals (especially the gals) and fans of fun!

The truth is, you might be!

Miscommunication can send you down a long and dusty road

We make assumptions all the time about how others see the world. Sometimes we take for granted that their world view is the same as ours. Sometimes, we even use vague communication to create

the wedge of ‘differentness’ to keep people at a safe distance. That one is usually unconscious, and can be a huge block to intimacy and belonging. More often than not, we resist saying what we really mean because we want to avoid conflict.

What’s that about?

Behavior scientists call these bad habits of communication, The Abilene Paradox. It’s based on a parable by Dr. Jerry B. Harvey about a family who take a trip to some pretty frustrating places, simply because no one was willing to say what they really meant.

After the disastrous, 104 mile journey one person sarcastically snorted, “It was a great trip wasn’t it.” To which the others replied:

• To tell the truth, I really didn’t enjoy it much. I wouldn’t have gone at all if you hadn’t pressured me into it.
• I didn’t pressure you. I was happy here. I only went because you all wanted to go.
• You were the ones who wanted to go. I just wanted to make you happy.
• I never wanted to go to Abilene. I just thought you might be bored sitting at home with the rest of us.

I’ve seen this kind of buried meaning crop up in nearly every relationship I have observed. In fact, I would be amazed if you didn’t recognize at least one of those comments as something you have said.

What is the solution?

• Identify the common communication tools that consistently cause aggravation,
• Recognize that they are habits of thought that can be changed,
• Then do what it takes to change them!

To be honest, it’s really tough to uncover your verbal tools on your own. Look for instances where you say ‘always, never, I knew it, you people, I always say, you just don’t understand.’

(I love how Stephen Covey says in 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, “You don’t understand” actually means “You aren’t doing what I want you to do.” )

If you’d like some help figuring out how your communication is getting skewed, give me a call. (866.821.9386, or drop me an email)

Helping you get what you want, through what you say, is my specialty!

I hope you are staying cozy during this challenging winter, and I would love to hear from you!

A toleration is anything that gets in the way of your very best life. If it drains you, wears you out, dances on your last nerve or makes you sad over and over again, it’s a toleration. Use this 5 step plan to eliminate it!

1) Join me in being ‘compassionately intolerant’ of your discomforts and disasters.

Understand that we are all doing the best we can at any given moment, but you have an opportunity, right now, to compassionately let go of what doesn’t work. If you are putting up with, or sometimes creating, obstacles on your path to satisfaction, the only time you have to eliminate them is RIGHT NOW. Remember, ‘then’ is not your friend. You can’t fix what happened back then and putting off your happiness for if/then to be happy, just isn’t going to work. It isn’t okay to be in dismay as a regular thing!

2) Discover what brings you down…and what it actually does for you.

Where ever your energy flows, your life goes. If you are staring at your troubles more than you are looking forward to achieving your goals, that’s an imbalance that needs to be rectified. But first, figure out what you are getting from your struggles. Is fear of failure, or worse, fear of success making your tolerations too attractive? Do what it takes to make satisfaction feel safer than sadness does.

It may feel like it, but you are not actually trapped by anything in your life!

Learn more after the jump.

3) Be true to your values.

Too often, we give up our values in exchange for situations that we think we SHOULD have in our lives. Unfortunately, if you aren’t clear about what drives your choices, it’s difficult to make the best ones. Don’t tolerate being confused about who you are.

4) Throw good money after bad tolerations.

If you are seeing the same problems over and over again: career dissatisfaction, a broken down environment, a messy work space, a closet full of clothes that don’t fit and don’t feel good on you, unresolved relationships/debts/promises, that door handle that makes entering a room a bother…or anything else that makes you groan.

5) If you don’t have a list of tolerations to tackle, think deeply and listen to your Life Script.

What do you say over and over again about your life? To get clarity, it may take an outside observer to help you notice and evaluate those habits. Turns out, I’m really, really good at helping with that. Give me a call!

Spring is the perfect time to eliminate tolerations. Make a commitment, right now, to eliminate even ONE. If you are fearful, start small. If you are ready, tackle the biggest, more draining bother. You’ll be relieved and glad that you did.

That is perfectly natural. And, by ‘natural’, I mean a part of nature that is almost unavoidable.

It’s dark and cold out there! (Even if you don’t live in the North or East, weather has been pretty crazy lately.)

By definition, everything moves more slowly in winter. And, if humans had more sense, we’d be a bit more like your furry friends and have planned to do less during the dark months.

Are you less busy or obligated right now? I’m not!

We are all just struggling against nature and slogging through a downward cycle. In fact, U.K. psychologist, Cliff Arnall, developed a mathematical calculation that suggests the third week of the year is the saddest time of the year. In the chilly, not-so-fun, aftermath of the holidays, how could it be anything but?

So, what can we do about it? Try the 9 great tips following the jump.

The trick is to take special care of yourself. Here are the best ways to stay healthy and happy over the next couple of months. (If you have a number 10, please tell us in the comments.)

Keep moving to keep moving

The more you exercise, the better you will feel. As an extra, added bonus, you’ll be warmer. A Jacuzzi can be a nice, immediate reward for a good workout at the gym and entering the spring months without extra pounds is even better.

Eat a healthy diet

Avoid ‘white’ carbs (white rice, potatoes, pasta) and stock up on dark foods (leafy greens, root vegetables, sweet potatoes and brown rice). Your digestion will thank you and you will avoid those deadly carbo-crashes.

Stay hydrated

Drink plenty of water. Just as in warm weather, dehydration brought on by low humidity, building heat and stress can make you more tired and ill-feeling than anything else. Drink a little more water than you think you want. Try a small splash of fruit juice, or chilled herb teas to make water more appealing. (I LOVE Celestial Seasonings Cinnamon Apple Spice for this.)

Catch more than 40 winks

Wanting to nap during dreary days is not necessarily a sign of depression. It’s a natural response to the dark. Rather than watching the third football game on a Sunday, or spending those two extra hours on the Internet, take a nap. Then do some stretches and a couple of jumping jacks to get your blood moving again.
Avoid alcohol

Oddly enough, we think alcohol makes us ‘happy’, when it is actually a depressant. Holiday parties inspire us to imbibe more than usual and it can be difficult to cut back amid the holiday letdown. When in doubt, eliminate drinking anything but healthy beverages and then check your mood.

Take advantage of every scrap of sun available

You NEED sun for vitamin D and vitality. Get all that you can. I’ve taken to joining my dog on the floor when a nice sunbeam floods my living room window. It really is comforting. When there is no sunbeam, visit a dog park or skating rink to be inspired by pooches and people who know how to enjoy the cold.

Find ways to stay organized

Nothing brings me down even lower than a home or office that is as difficult to navigate as the rain and snow.

Toss junk mail in the bin before you even bring it in the house.

Wash dishes before they can pile up. I bought a dish brush with on-board dish washing liquid at Hill’s Kitchen, which makes clean up an easy swish! (Plus, I feel warm inside for supporting a local, much loved, business. Double bonus!)

Consider a less cluttered bed that can be made more easily. I use a European style flannel duvet cover and, like my friends across the Pond, skip the top sheet. Not only am I warmer, more comfortable and less stressed with bunched up sheets, but making the bed involves nothing more than a flick of the wrist.

Get creative with organizing and you’ll be less stressed and more focused while you slog toward May flowers.

Surround yourself with supportive people

Band together to beat the blues. Find an uplifting activity, watch a funny movie, play hilarious games (Charades, Pictionary), challenging word games, or chess, to keep your mind active. If you must, let yourself b**ch about how down you are for the first 10 minutes and then find a fun solution.

Say yes to saying no

Participate in only the activities that lift your spirits and give you energy. If the friend who never has a good word to say wants to gobble up your Sunday afternoon, reply, ”I have an obligation then.” This happens to be true…you are obligated to take special care of yourself!